Meditation.. how to..

Many clients recognise that meditation is a way to increase balance, happiness, well-being, productivity, health etc.. but are not quite sure how to proceed.  Here are a few suggestions to get started:

These are things you can do anywhere (including office)

1. Breathe:  Sit or lie comfortably, and focus on your breathing. Perhaps use some words like "Breathe in, breathe out" to accompany the breathing. At work, just taking a few moments when one is ultra stressed, getting angry etc. to focus on this can be a real help!
2. Go to You Tube and find a relaxing video with ocean waves or other sounds / visuals.  Watch for 5-10 minutes. Also- focus on breathing at the same time.
3. Do an "appreciation exericse":  You think about (and feel) the gratitude you have for (a) all that you have, (b) all that you are, (c) all that is, (d) all that will be.

There are a million opportunities to learn about meditation... 

• Buy a book!  There are lots of books on meditation and how to do.  
• Buy a CD!  This can be just music (look up music that mentions Deep Alpha for example) or it can be an actual meditation/relaxation excericse like "Deep Alpha Relaxation Cycle" by Robert Kendall.
• Go to You Tube and type in "Meditation".  There are lots and lots of examples, training, guided meditation in all sorts of languages. 

If you have a favourite support for effective meditation, please do share! 

Overload! Our Choice to manage! TBT!

Here are some observations / thoughts..

• Last week on vacation, I saw 4 people were sitting at a dinner table in a restaurant. 3 of them were playing with their iphones/smart phones for almost the entire time they sat there over the course of the meal.  
• Michael Dell said that in 2020, we will be creating 35 times as much data as in 2010.
• Mark Hurd of Oracle said that more data will be created in the next 4 years than in the history of the planet
• Eric Schmitdt of Google says we create as much data now in two days as was created between the dawn of time and 2003. 
• Studies indicate 2.8 hours per day are lost to non-important interruptions and recovery time required to get back on track.
• Every time I do a time management workshop (called Time Choices), Email quantity, 24/7 availability with email and interruptions by others are perceived as the major time eaters that need to be addressed.
• And then there are the studies that show the quality of what we pay attention to is changing:  in 1970, 39% of the US TV news was global in nature, now it is 12%. 

Where are we going with all this?  Does all this data (and perhaps information) make us happier, more balanced and more successfull in our lives?

Thinking about this, makes me realise how careful I need to be:r (a) managing the input I receive; (b) managing the output I create for others..... Is another news letter really what is needed in this world ? (c) focus on this topic in the Time Choices workshop needs ramped up.

Thanks to the www.worklifebalance.com for bringing this up.

(TBT = Think before Tweeting)

Great video from David Allen - Guru of DOING

Watched this video from David Allen at a DO conference (what a super idea!).

The ideas he says are:

• Pay attention to what has your attention ("scratch your itch")
• Decide outcomes desired, next actions required
• Free your psyche with a trusted system
• Share these ideas

This is so interesting, for 2 reasons.

1. First, I almost avoided David Allen's work (despite some great ideas for the system of managing one's time) because I found people get SO caught up in the system that it takes over the psyche! Managing and improving the system becomes the itch. This video - makes it clear to me that is not his intent and that is just a pitfall to know and avoid.
2. Secondly, this is so close to the coaching I do.... This set of beliefs is the corner stone of Best Year Yet's program, the first program I was attracted to in the coaching world, it is the corner stone of the Time Choices program I run (with all these great time management systems available, how come nobody has any time anymore...), it is in fact, the basis of most coaching interventions for most coaches, including myself!

Well - this motivated me to continue to scratch my itch to support others, and to continually improve my life in this way (am going through a bit of a change at the moment - trying to find a new type / level of balance so I keep focusing on what is important). Hopefully it will help you too!

Tips on going independant - the Money Eaters.

The money eaters...

1. Telephone/mobile costs - wow - as an international travel/business person, any tips and tools on how to keep my connectivity costs down when traveling would be greatfully appreciated. It is soooo important to stay connected (unless you are on vacation or with a client directly) but, it can be quite expensive! Hotels charge huge rates for WIFI, international rates for using a sim card in the PC or doing email/internet stuff on the iphone are outrageous. So... think this out carefully. Doing business just in Switzerland would be a lot cheaper.
2. Clothing! I have found that all my previous office clothes just dont feel right anymore. I feel "not me" when I wear them... so I am giving them away as I replenish my wardrobe. I had not counted this cost in to my business planning! Shoes also included here!
3. Purchasing resources - I do a lot of research for my work... and I spend a lot of money on purchasing articles, books, etc. that I think will help me. I love doing this as I learn so much, but it is a significant cost in my business plan (and has an impact on costs for the PC and Office interms of storage availability!).
4. The Right PC and related stuff - oh... so important! My first PC was great but burned up after 2 years. Now have another model (hopefully a little bit more robust) ... It is really worth spending the money on a good product that has great after sales service and really meets your needs (what ever they might be.. I need "light", "fast" and "reliable"). Security and back up systems all cost money on an annual basis - dont scrimp here either! Same with the phone!
5. Self Development - My development as an independant business person / coach / facilitator is up to me, 100%. Some of that comes in the assignments I accept (stretching me) and much of it comes in the form of self learning (see above) and quite a bit comes from taking new courses, having a coach myself. This cost for me was particularly heavy in the first year or two as I developed my coaching skills.
6. The office - what worked as a home office when I was working 150% in the corporate world, was not good enough when I started to run my business from that same space! Am on my third update - and soon need to make a fourth one... Luckily so far, I have not had to shell out big bucks on this...yet...
7. Inappropriate Marketing - Perhaps others are smarter about this... but I certainly spent too much initially on things like white pages /yellow pages subscriptions, being first in searches in the on-line telephone books. All that money has not generated one client! All my clients come from my relationships/networks/happy clients - trust that has happened between me and other people.
8. Belief that a website is mandatory, right now - I am sure this depends on the business and especially on the clients for that business , but I have found that websites are part of an overall business progression plan and dont have to be created right away. Websites created right away can be quickly outgrown, and... if you dont have the time to maintain it and manage it well... it can just be a waste of money.
9. Being a sucker for sales people that show up at your home - As an independant company - your phone number seems suddenly attract all sorts of sales people. NOTHING I have purchased when a sales person has called me on the phone, or has visited me at their request, has ever really worked out - with the exception of one company where I buy my office supplies. So the new rule is - anybody that calls me to sell me something, is politely told I am not interested. I buy things / services ONLY when I have decided I need them - not when somebody else decides I need them.
10. Be really careful of WHEN you buy things / make important decisions related to money. In the corporate world - there are always approval processes and other people's buy-ins to get when you make big, important, risky decisions so there is time to distance yourself from the decision and look at it again. As an independant person, you dont have that hinderance (or luxury) any more. Your emotional state at the time of when you make decisions related to money can be very important. If you are sad, depressed, a little down, tired, disappointed because you just lost a great potential deal - you can be sure that you will not be evaluating the decision as well as if you were happier, energetic, and more sure of yourself. We all have emotional waves of some magnitude. Pay attention to them and find a process that helps you at these times. Two minds are better than one!

Hmmmm... looking at this list, I feel a little silly. After all - I have a good business head on my shoulders yet, I have made some mistakes in the spending of my hard earned income since becoming independant. On the positive side - the cost of the mistakes has not been significant enough to make my business suffer and I have learned a huge amount from all this!

The big learning is that there are hidden costs out there that can derail you, especially if they incurr in times where cashflow is an issue. So, Plan, Plan and Plan, and have a back up plan. Talk to people that have successful independant businesses and learn from them!

Would love to hear about other money eaters or time eaters...

Tips on going independant - the Time Eaters.

People seem to think I have the perfect life ... And... I must admit, I think it is pretty good (but certainly not perfect). So.. since one of my goals of being a coach is to help others achieve more happiness and success, here are some rough thoughts on what I found (the good, and the less good) in changing from being 150% in the corporate world to being 150% in Susan's world.

Will start with some of the less good stuff... and see where we go from there!

The less good stuff

Time that disappears: I never thought about how much time I WOULD NOT HAVE when I changed to becoming independant. Some big time eaters I have found are:

1. Cleaning house. You are in the house more often, so not only do you see the dirt you did not see when you were working but you create more dirt! So... there is more cleaning to do (or more acceptance of not cleaning.. or both)
2. Making meals. I never calculated how much time it would take to think about what to eat, shop and then make the meals. I am constantly surprised how much time this takes and am always looking for ways to increase quality while reducing time allocated to this! Cleaning up after meals is also a biggy...
3. Interuptions. The cat wants a hug, the cat wants fed, the post man rings the bell, the sales calls that come by telephone, the laundry needs brought in as it is raining, it is sooooo nice outside I want to go for a bike ride and not sit next to my PC... so, learning is that managing interuppions in the new life are just as important as doing it in the corporate world.
4. Frittering... it is so easy to just do nothing... to relax in the sun chair, have a herbal tea or glass of wine and aperatif with hubbie, watch some tv show... and there goes the next few hours. That is great and one of the positives of this life style, but it is sometimes very tempting to over do (and do the wrong type of frittering). Afterall, isnt this a desired part of this new lifestyle I have created?
5. Computer / telephone stuff! Oh - do I take back all the nasty things I said about our computer support in the corporate world, when my little computer problems were not fixed within 5 minutes. Now... I am on my own and have to find what is the right computer for me, what is the best way to back up, how to learn about new tricks and tools that save me time and effort, how to resolve problems, how to synch so my office is everywhere I am, what security system is best, and it all takes time and it is all time spent that is not the most enjoyable for me!
6. Admin - creating invoices, paying bills, tracking costs/income, preparing taxes, doing proposals, filing, sending faxes (yes - it still has to happen for certain things), following up on outstanding invoices, changing credit card info when credit card expires on all the internet services one uses, doing travel arrangements, creating the processes to manage the most important of all this, etc. etc. et. etc. . In the corporate world, a lot of things are done for us, or how we do them is dictated to us... in the independant world, finding the ways that works best (in line with our values, time efficient, done once (no errors) etc..) is time consuming. No wonder many independant coaches /start up businesses go for virtual assistants.

Next post will be on the money eaters! And boy... have I found a lot of them!

What the CEO wants you to know...

If you are looking to move up the ranks of your company or want to change companies, I recommend you read this book "What the CEO wants you to know" by Ram Charan. It is a simple, easy to read and apply book about how business works.

I came across this as part of a program run by a client. Since a fellow coach and myself are delivering part of this program, we read up on the same material the client is requesting the participants read.

Six Sigma-ites... If I was still a DC (Six Sigma Deployment Manager) I would probably make this a part of the Black Belt training program (reading and discussion groups).

Great relaxation excercise!

A client sent this to me...

If you are feeling stressed, tired and would like to calm down and refocus - try the following:

Click on this link http://www.emnergie.com/coherence/ressources/guide/index.html
Click on the video (If you can add the sound, that helps)

• Make sure you are sitting straight, breathing from your abdomen
• Feet flat on the floor.
• Inhale as the yellow circle goes up (5 seconds)
• Exhale as the yellow circle goes down (5 seconds)

Do it for 3 to 5 minutes.

And... if that does not work, try the excercise number 2 (listening to waves on the beach). The site is in French, but the video and sound work easily without knowing French!

Enjoy!

Increase your Self Awareness - SPECIAL OFFER!

Before we look for directions, find solutions, and put it all into action, it is really helpful to increase one self awareness.

All good coaching will help further one's self awareness. However, sometimes it is worth just focusing on self awareness itself. The best tool I have found for doing this is the MBTI.

So, here is my offer to help you increase your self awareness and to use it to help you on your way to some specific goal.

The Offer includes:

• 4 hours of coaching
• MBTI Online questionaire
• MBTI detailed report
• MBTI Type preference reference booklet

For 390 CHF or 390 USD

This offer is available for through the end of February 2010.

This special offer is a win/win opportunity. You increase your self awareness using an oustanding, world class tool and I accelerate towards my goal of providing outstanding meaningful and useful coaching to outstanding people using outstanding tools.

If you are interested, please send me a note to my email address (Valcoach@vtxnet.ch) or leave me a note here on the blog!

Innovation and Coaching!

According to another great article in the Dec 09 issue of the HBR (Harvard Business Review), there is a 5 step approach to improving innovation! When I looked at the list, it looked really familiar. I struggled a moment with why... and then it clicked. When coaches work with clients, we go though a very similar process to help clients find potential solutions! So, here are the 5 steps as per this article in the HBR.

5 Steps to Innovation (finding innovative solutions)

1. Association (associating different thoughts, concepts, facts etc..)
2. Questioning (being inquisitive)
3. Observing (watching what happens )
4. Experimenting
5. Networking

How do we develop Self Discipline?

Just read an interesting articles in the Science Daily newsletter. Apparently, researchers have found out that self discipline increases when we surround ourselves with people who have lots of it and decreases when we surround ourselves with people that have less of it than we do. Interesting!!! So... if you need more self discipline, what one change can you make?

Killer To Do Lists

I have an ideal life: Get to spend a LOT of time doing great vacations (ski mountaineering, cross country skiing, hiking, biking, horse-riding etc..), have a great marriage, live in an outstanding place in the mountains, in great health, and have a fantastic job (coach and facilitator). Yet.... there are times I really hit rock bottom, the world is black, bad and going to hell rapidly and I sink into the black hole of dispair, self hate and self pity! W hat makes this all the worse, is that I really do have this great life... so all of these black hole expeditions are all in my head!!!

It usually happens when I am tired (no suprises there..), have many external demands on my time (most of which of course I initiated) and encounter a few obstacles.

So.. why do I get so tired? Well... my theory is the TO DO list. I am the queen of todo lists... When I have a lot to do and a lot on my mind, I follow my own time management advise and make prioritised to do lists. So far so good you might think. Well, wrong. First there is the size of the TO DO list - one full page, 2 columns (that is a lot of items,,even if they are priortised!). Then, secondly, the TO DO list turns into my MUST DO BEFORE THE END OF THE DAY list and I get driven to do as many things on it as possible. So, I work away, diligently crossing off things as I get them done, forgetting meals and other self care things and by 18.00 I am shattered, flop on the sofa with the cat, and feel incredibly guilty I am not working on my to do list. So, the next day, I try to get up early and start all over again and the vicious cycle continues. I begin to feel a loss of freedom, snap at my husband and the cat and I slip further and further into that darn black hole.

The good news is that I do have moments of realisation that this is happening (see the beetroot article below). The bad news is that somehow, that does not help me pull myself out it.

So... this behaviour just does not fit with this new life style we have been creating for ourselves the last 4 years and although it has served me well in the past, it is time for it to go.

And, thanks to 2 very different conversations with a couple of great coaches, I realised... what is happening and have a plan to fix it! Here it is in the GROW coaching model.

Goal: Have the lifestyle I want, be being in a state of peace, happiness and harmony, living mostly in the moment, enjoying the success and lessons of the past, and planning generally (but not too much) for an even better future. When I am busy, I appreciate the opportunity and approach work with calmness, focus and balance. I am a role model for the people I coach.

Reality: When I am really busy with "work", I fall back to what made me successful in my past career... the ability to work really really hard, for long hours, with big, thorough to do lists. I over promise to myself and under deliver and then self worth hits the greased slide into the black hole. I am not totally sure it only confined to when I think I am busy.. it just gets worse then.. Here is a small, almost silly if it was not true, example: Hubbie was coming home from a trip - I wanted him to feel really welcomed back home, so I wanted to make him an excellent home made dinner, have the house cleaned from top to bottom, all the laundry done and put away, home made bread, an apple tart and oatmeal cookies. Well, I did not get the oatmeal cookies done and felt awful I had not done enough for him! Hmmmmmmmmm.

Options: I have lots of options to deal with this: taking on less work, measuring how much time it takes for preperation for each workshop, making shorter to do lists, getting my husband to tell me when he sees me entering into this mode, only working in my office so many hours a day, throwing away the to do list, getting more efficient at working.

Will: So, here is what I will do, what I commit to doing as concrete actions.

1. No more to do lists. I have not written one in a week.
2. Use my calender to schedule my days so I block time for each activity. Am doing this most days.
3. Block empty time "White Space" in my calender. This is harder... am struggling still.

Of course, there are a few other things going on also: Continuing to simplify our lives, getting a faster computer so I spend less time waiting for it to catch up to my fingers, getting more efficient at work as I gain more experience. But... getting rid of the to do list is THE BIG SHIFT right now. And... it feels good! I am back in control!

Beetroot!

Since we came back from our U.S. vacation, I have been really busy doing lots of fun things, including work. But... there have been some signs that perhaps I was a little out of whack... a martial arts master told me I had some serious signs of tiredness and emotional blockage; a doctor told me that I must be clamping my jaws when I sleep at night due to stress; my back felt like it was about to go out. Of course... since I obviously know how to manage my time and have worked steadfastly on eliminating negative stress ... I totally ignored all the signs.

It was thanks to Beetroot (see photo of pickled beetroot) I realised what was happening. I was in the garden, on a glorious fall day, with birds signing, Melvin the cat at my side, and I was picking the beetroot out of the ground. I felt like this was a really awful chore and the quicker I got it done, the quicker I could get to the next thing on my list so I could make sure I got that really important work done so I could make sure I would be absolutely perfect as a facilitator, so .... and on and so on. Suddenly - I realised this was ALL WRONG! I love being in the garden! I love being outside on such a beautiful day! I quit my job at Cat so I could take the time to do these types of things! So why was I rushing through this to rush through the 100 other things on my to do list for that day? Why was I feeling guilty that 93 of those things might not get done today and must be postponed until tomorrow instead of feeling guilty about not enjoying the moment?

So, I SLOWED DOWN! I took the time to wash the beetroot and prepare it for pickling and baking and really enjoyed it. I came back to enjoy the moment! Now the challenge is make sure I do that more often and even all the time! It showed me that although I have changed a lot since I left my corporate job... I am still on my journey to be as peaceful, calm and grounded as I would like to be! I have to work at it each day!

I told my coach about this little episode and she reminded about the work of Eckart Tolle. Time to go back and re-read some of that!

Cairns and your life journey!

"We all have the same destination in life, it is therefore the journey that is important!"

We just came back from an outstanding trip to the U.S., with lots of hiking and horse riding. During one of the hikes, I began to notice the beauty, uniqueness, balance and utility of the cairns we passed along the way. They symobilise the following for me:

(1) Balance in the present: Each of us strives for balance in the current moment or present. This striving is just like building a cairn. Each's person's balance is different, just like each cairn. Some of the rocks in the cairn can even be named:

• Achievements (goals, objectives)


• Attitude


• Appreciation


• Accountability


• Alignment (values, roles and behaviours)


• Action

(2) Journey markers: Goals and objectives help us move from where we are, to where we want to be. The same is true for cairns. We build cairns to guide us on our journey, using our goals, objectives, values. They also serve as a way of celebrating the past, just like achieved goals and objectives, saying "Hey, I was there, I did that!"

(3) Guide: And.. once we have constructed our journey, with it's cairns consisting of balance in the present and direction for the future, these cairns and our journey, can serve as a guide for others!

This spoke to me so strongly, that I am going to develop this concept further for use as a way of symobilising the coaching and facilitating work I do.

Article: 20 ways to reduce stress

http://http//www.thirdage.com/stress-reduction/20-ways-to-reduce-stress?page=0%2C3

Great short article on 20 things you can do to remove negative stress from your life, written by Leo Babauta. Here is a summary. For explanation on each point, see the article link above.

1. Identify stressors
2. Eliminate un-necessary commitments (be brutal)
3. Stop procrastinating
4. Get organised
5. Be on time
6. Give up on control (I am working on this one.... )
7. Quit multi-tasking
8. Eliminate things that drain your energy
9. Avoid difficult people
10. Simplify your life
11. Unschedule (leave blocks of free time in schedule)
12. Slow down (am also working on this one..)
13. Help others
14. Relax routinely
15. Quit work (this worked for me!)
16. Edit your to do list
17. Excercise
18. Eat healthily
19. Be grateful
20. Create a zen like environment in the office and at home

Bad day :-(

Wow, did I have a bad day...

I got up, listened to the news and already felt bad. Then... the day not only rolled down, but cascaded down hill from there. I could not shake off this negative and angry feeling all day - despite a beautiful sunny day, and a great cross country ski outing. And the bad feeling is still there!

I almost never have bad days... hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. What is to be learned here???

Survey results: What do u want more of in life?

The latest results from my survey on what people want more or less of in their life are just in... and, overall, the results did not change much. People want more:

• Time (48%),


• Health (23%),


• Serenity/Peace (18%)

It is interesting to see what falls into the category of "other". The "Other" category accounts for 25% of the responses so far and are items that are reported only once. Here is the list so far...

Fearlessness, Focus, Patience, Self belief, Flexible workhours/location of work, Personal development, Respect, Tolerance, Nature (maybe I should classify this in Holidays), Fairness

Photo - Grimentz Jan 09: Susan; wanting more time to fix her skis before attacking the descent!

8 Pillars of well being.

I just heard about a new book that sounds very interesting. If somebody has read it, please let me know what you think about it by leaving a comment.

The book is "Quantum Wellness" by Kathy Freston.

She says there are 8 pillars of well being or wellness.

1. Meditation (daily)
2. Visualisation
3. Fun (do something fun each day)
4. Concious eating (know where all your food comes from and the processes required to bring it to your table)
5. Excercise (a no brainer)
6. Self examination (knowing where you need to develop more and doing it)
7. Spiritual practise
8. Service to others

As a quick self check, on a scale of 1 -10, how well do you practise each of these things today?

Here is her website address:http://www.kathyfreston.com/

Wanting, Willing and Insanity.

Susan.... willing to do what it takes to learn to ski!

"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results" Albert Einsten





I wanted to learn to ski and I was willing to do what it took to make it happen (and I still am!). I want to lose 10 lbs, but I am not willing to make the changes needed to do this. Whew! What a relielf it was when that light bulb went on! My new year resolutions no longer include loosing those 10lbs and I like a huge energy drag has been removed!


Questions:

1. What do you want in life and what are you willing to do about it?


2. What do you do with the things you want, but you know you are not willing to do something different in order to achieve those wants?


3. How do you know if you are willing to do something about your wants?

Too fed up with life to live!

This morning I learned that approx. 25 % of all assisted suicides in Switzerland are people that dont have a terminal or other incurable illness, but are instead fed up and tired of life. I did not see any facts about the age or general health of these people but it still shocked me! I fully believe that we have right to decide if we want to end our lives ourselves, and I can understand how we can get to this point. But... I find it terribly sad to arrive here, no matter how old we may be. Some might argue it is an almost inevitable part of getting old, but if it is (which I dont accept), I certainly want to push this time out as far away from now as possible!

You may wonder why I have a picture of a fat orange cat on this post (Melvin the terrible)... It is because when I saw the above statistics this morning, I immediately thought about how he made me laugh last night. He is a little overweight (cough, cough) but always manages to get through the cat trap. Last night when I got home, I heard a scary unknown noise in the stairway. I cautiously turned on the light and looked down the stairs... to see my fat cat, struggling up the stairs, with the entire cat trap stuck around his middle! If I only had that camera that I can't find!

I am rambling here a little.. but the point of all this is that is really worthwhile taking time now in our busy lives, to work on our attitude towards ourselves and what happens to us and to focus on being healthy. A little prevention can avoid a lot of pain in the future! And... the prevention can be a lot of fun (like taking time to laugh at some of the small things that happen in life!).

Maybe I will still end up someday thinking that life is not worth living, but ... at least I will have done my best to live a great life as long as possible with moment after moment, stored in memory and in my attitude, for which to be thankful.

No more Big Macs!!!

The banning of fast food restaurants in certain parts of Los Angeles is one more nail in the coffin of our freedom and liberty. What will come next? Will we ban sun bathing? What about driving (there is nothing more dangerous...)?

I believe firmly in the freedom of choice. I dont want any government telling me what I can and can not eat. If the fast food industry goes out of business because there are not enough clients, that is fine by me, but I dont need a nanny government to forbid me from eating fast food! Of all the places in the world, I though the United States would be the bastion of personal liberty and freedom. I am sorely disappointed by this approach of "We, the government, know best for our poor , non responsible, unthinking people.

I also believe that you get or become what you think about so... if enough of our politicians and government think we are non responsible and un-thinking, and enough laws are put in place with this premise, well... guess what we will get: A society of people with little to no self responsibility and few true thoughts themselves.

Look forward to hearing your thoughts on this.